Celebrity News Lie of the Week: Britney Spears to Marry Jason Trawick!

While there's little doubt that Britney Spears and Jason Trawick, her agent and boyfriend, seem very happy these days, the two aren't engaged or getting married.

We're confident in stating that as a fact, since they're taking things slowly, her impulsive days are long gone ... and her management team said this on the record.

Why let facts stop you sometimes, though? Right, OK!?

Apparently fresh out of Robsten rumors (although Kristen "will be there for Rob" in an ancillary article), the celeb gossip publication featured Britney this week.

She's apparently tying the not with Jason Trawick in a million-dollar beach wedding. Surprising that budget-conscious Jamie Spears gave that the green light ...

 

Sean and Jayden supposedly gave Jason Trawick their blessing.

The alleged scoop in OK!: Britney Spears is telling friends she’s ready to marry her boyfriend Jason Trawick. And "all it took was her boys’ blessing" to convince her.

Mmm hmm. Right. We're sure her sons, ages four and three, sat down with her and had a heart-to-heart, expressing their concerns and going over a pro-con list.

This will be her third wedding in five years. Or would be, if it were actually happening. And what's with the headline, guys? Creative. Never been used before.

Nevertheless, OK! cites a source claiming that the lip-syncher "does not have a doubt in her mind that she wants to spend the rest of her life with Jason.”

“She has already discussed marriage with him.”

Wow, a discussion? We're totally convinced.

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Rihanna: Still a Fan of Chris Brown ... Music

In a series of recent interviews, Rihanna recalled Chris Brown's assault on her in graphic detail, describing just how haunting and terrifying that night was.

She'd never take him back, she insists (not that the court would allow him to), but she's not completely turned off by her ex - she still listens to his music.

In an interview with The Bert Show on Q100 Atlanta, Rihanna said despite their violent past, she misses Brown, and his songs remind her of good times.

"When it comes on the radio I don't frown or turn it off, I just ... listen. I like his music," she said. "I've gotten over [Chris] but there are definitely constant reminders, and a lot of that comes from listening to his songs."

As for that rumor surfacing yesterday that she's now dating Tristan Wilds, Rihanna says that's not true. So not true that "I don't even have his number."

She says the 90210 cast member did come to a house party she had, and that they hung out, but that's it. As for whether she's looking for a boyfriend?

"No ... I'm a very flirty girl, though," she said, laughing. "I don't think I have the time or the energy for a relationship. It's like another career, really."

After how her last one ended, a little time off is probably good.

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Lindsay Lohan Has Never Been Happier

Her mother is attention-starved.

Her sister is 15 going on 37.

And her father might be the worst human being on the planet.

But Lindsay Lohan still swears she's loving life these days. She told E! News on Thursday night:

"I've never been happier in my life. As long as my mom, my sister and my brother are happy, then I'm good."

But what about your dad? Oh. Right. Nevermind.

Lohan even says her career is moving full steam ahead. She has a new album coming out; she just can't say when... or what songs will be on it... or who is producing it.

"I can't say anything because the person who I'm working with on the album I haven't officially signed with yet," she said.

Either that, or the CD is as real as Lindsay's happiness. Poor drug-addicted trainwreck girl.

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Carrie Prejean Nude Photo, Sex Tapes Galore

For the record: we don't care that Carrie Prejean is against gay marriage.

We find that stance close-minded and cruel, but she's entitled to the opinion.

We do care, however, when someone consistently lies, whines, doesn't take responsibility and then hides behind religion as an excuse for her views and actions.

Prejean has borne all these qualities out for months, but a source has come forward with another example of her deceit: Radar Online reports that numerous naked photos and solo sex tapes of the disgraced beauty queen exist.

In an interview with Sean Hannity this week, Carrie referred to her masturbation video as "the biggest mistake of her life." But an insider says SEVEN others exist. That's a lot of big mistakes!

Might the public soon see one? Vivid Entertainment President Steven Hirsch is working on it. He told TMZ:

"The third party that brought the tape to Vivid affirmed that she was over 18 years of age at the time it was made.

In her self-serving memoir, Carries writes: “God gave us our bodies, and it’s perfectly right that we use them in ways where we can give glory to God."

Unless God is a horny young male, Prejean's actions might not match her profound bible quotes.

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Shakira Yearns to Reproduce with Antonio de la Rua

Shakira is really ready to let herself go. If it means getting pregnant, that is.

The 5'2" Colombian singer says she's looking forward to packing on pounds.

Those hips may not lie, but they may very well produce ... forget it.

"Lately my body feels like it is just asking to reproduce, to have a huge belly and carry babies," Shakira tells the new issue of Rolling Stone. "My boyfriend is six feet tall, and sometimes I feel like I'm his keychain, a small thing."

But while the Grammy winner, currently in a nine-year, monogamous relationship with investment banker Antonio de la Rua, has long harbored a maternal instinct, don't expect her to walk down the aisle any time soon. Or at all.

Can Shakira conquer the world? You mean she hasn't already?

"We live in a society that represses women's subconscious dreams," Shakira, who considers herself a die-hard feminist, says in her opposition to marriage.

"You know, women have to make enormous efforts through life, much larger than men. We deal with so much pressure, such as the pressure of aesthetics."

"Society wants us to deliver our performances as mothers, daughters and wives."

"It's funny how the papers want to see you married, and then they want to see you divorced," she continues. "Well, I won't do any of it, at any point."

As long as she keeps cranking out the hit songs and posing for magazines like this, we are perfectly fine with that. Besides, she's legally on the market!

Kari Ann Peniche Headlines Cast of Sex Rehab

The lovely Kari Ann Peniche and other upstanding Z-listers be taking part in the latest spinoff of Celebrity Rehab, Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew, beginning November 1.

The stimulating new VH1 series will tackle the widely unexamined and wildly uninhibited world of sex addiction. The pleasure begins building at 10 p.m. Sunday.

Kari Ann is definitely the biggest name among the cast, thanks to her participation in this year's Eric Dane nude tape and her troubled past as a possible pimp.

The disgraced former Miss Teen USA also posed in Playboy, was engaged to Aaron Carter for like a week, and started her own clothing line, Strung Out Girl.

How apropos.

Hi, my name is Kari Ann Peniche and I am a sex addict. I enjoy pina coladas, long walks on the beach and getting naked with Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart.

The cast of the new series includes a number of people you possibly have heard of (if you follow the oft-colliding worlds of porn and celebrity sex tapes).

It also features some people you probably do not know. In addition to Kari Ann Peniche, here's a look at some of the upstanding characters joining her:
Jennifer Ketchum (porn "actress")
Jamie Lovett (surfer, wakeboarder)
Nicole Narain (model, sex tape star)
Kendra Jade (former porn star)
Duncan Roy (music producer)
Amber Smith (alleged model)
Phil Varone (musician)

Lindsay Lohan: Sunday Times Sexy, Mostly Clothed

   

Earlier, we told you about how Lindsay Lohan sat down with the Sunday Times and lamented how she is a target and walks around with a bulls-eye on her back.

Well, these things are wont to happen when one forgets to put on pants.

Or in the case of her Sunday Times photo shoot, a top. Hey, at least she remembered to get herself half-dressed. Take what you can get, right? Baby steps.

Here's Lindsay, braless, in the aptly titled "Car Crash Couture" piece ...

We have to say, for a walking train wreck who just got dumped by her label and is taking on fashion gigs for free, she actually looks pretty decent here.

Well, relatively speaking. And photo editing software can work wonders. But still, at the end of the day, the result is pretty positive with the bar set so low.

If you're looking for Lindsay Lohan nude, you're going to have to look elsewhere. Like club Avenue in NYC 2-3 nights a week. Just give it time. Patience.